Take a moment to think about the desired outcome you would like to happen when you handle this situation in real life.

First, identify the desired outcome you want to achieve with regard to off-hours communication. For example:

• Do you want to set boundaries around your response time?

• Do you want any resolution documented somewhere?

• Do you want the communications outside of standard business hours to stop entirely?

• Do you want to only be contacted after business hours if it is an emergency?

• Do you want to be compensated for additional PTO/time off if you do take messages/calls outside of standard business hours?

Knowing what your outcomes are may adjust influence the techniques you choose to use when tackling this situation.

Conduct some research.

First, ask yourself the following questions about your situation:

• What do you know so far about expectations in regard to responding to work-related messages outside of standard business hours, generally? Did this topic come up at all during the interview or onboarding process? Is there an official written workplace policy (frequently, there isn’t)?

• Is this behavior specific to your manager or do you see it as part of a broader pattern of the culture at your workplace? 

• Are these messages from your manager related to urgent or non-urgent items from a reasonable perspective?

• Are you and your manager working in different time zones and could this be playing a factor? 

The expected typical response time to work-related messages, whether they are sent within or outside of standard business hours, will be specific to each workplace. Thus, it’s always worth asking direct questions about this during the interview process when considering a new position. However, regardless of the circumstances, here are some practical steps to consider:

Investigate if there are official workplace policies.

• If possible, educate yourself up-front before taking further action to establish your boundaries. Check the employee handbook, if one exists. Reach out to your workplace HR and ask for guidance on the policy. This may include overtime policies, if this applies to your workplace, as responding to messages outside of your established schedule may count as such. 

• Be sure to check any policies, handbook causes, or job descriptions related to your role that may explicitly state or imply that you need to be responsive outside of standard business hours.

• What if you need to be available outside of standard business hours?

  • If this is something that is required of your job that you cannot accept, you may be able to renegotiate this or it could be time to explore new roles long-term. 

  • You may also be able to negotiate additional compensation or ‘comp time’, which essentially means that you can make up your own personal time during standard business hours for the hours you put in outside of standard business hours.

Of course, there are some industries, like healthcare, manufacturing, or security where monitoring and replying to messages regardless of the hour is necessary and the norm. In these cases, be extra proactive in seeking clarity around response protocols and what is considered urgent vs non-urgent. 

Set your work calendar and any work messaging apps to display your availability.

• Most time management and messaging apps shared in the workplace offer features that allow you to set your standard work hours in a way that is visible to others. For example, if your manager has access to your work calendar, they may see business hours filled with appointments or free time blocks with off hours grayed out.

• You may be able to block off your calendar during off hours and set your messaging app to automatically send a reply to the sender that states, “Thank you for your message. I am currently out of the office and will respond during the hours of [list your industry’s standard business hours and your time zone].”

  • Use an automatic reply message that is brief, non-personal, polite, and clear on when the sender can expect to hear from you. This is especially useful if your manager or other colleagues are working in different time zones and may need the reminder. 

Only respond during standard business hours (for non-urgent issues).

• Regardless of when your manager or another colleague sends you non-urgent messages, make a practice from the start to only reply consistently during standard business hours in your time zone. 

  • Some managers or colleagues prefer to work odd hours like early in the morning or late at night based on their schedule. Other workplaces have managers and direct reports working in different time zones altogether. Many managers genuinely do not expect a response right away in these cases. 

Mute your work-related notifications during off-hours.

• For those of us who do not work in an industry or position where being on-call is part of the typical job description - don’t be your own worst enemy. If you’re tempted to reply to non-urgent messages from managers or colleagues during off hours, consider muting notifications or shutting off your work-related devices altogether. Take the temptation away from yourself to begin an unhealthy expectation with others that you will reply to their messages regardless of the hour. 

Communicate proactively and unapologetically.

• If you sense tension or impatience from your manager due to the boundaries you’re setting around your response times, consider addressing this politely but directly. 

  • For example, let’s say your manager sends you a message at 7 PM on a Tuesday, whereas you ended the workday at 5. You either see the message but don’t respond immediately intending to do so the next morning, or don’t see the message because you aren’t checking your devices during your off hours. The next morning, your manager messages you again by 8:05 AM, “Did you see my message yesterday?” This is possibly a hint they were expecting you to respond during off hours and it’s worth initiating a respectful conversation to establish or reaffirm your boundaries.

• Even if your manager isn’t pressing you for responses outside of standard business hours, if it helps you feel more comfortable, it may be worth addressing proactively. Ideally, this would be communicated during a live 1-on-1 conversation that is face-to-face (in-person or remotely) to allow for the full context of tone, facial expressions, and body language during the interaction:

  • “By the way, I’ve noticed lately that sometimes you’re sending messages during off hours or on the weekends. I want you to know that I’m careful to not let these messages fall through the cracks, but during these periods I prioritize time with my family. I will always do my best to respond once business hours resume.”

Be respectful but firm.

• In cases where your manager is actively pushing for you to be responsive outside of standard business hours, you may need to be more firm:

  • “I don’t respond to work-related messages outside of standard business hours because doing so would not allow me to have a healthy work-life balance. My understanding is that our core business hours are 8 AM to 5 PM [or replace your workplace standard here]. Outside of those hours, I focus on things that help me return to work refreshed and ready to give my best work performance.” 

• In cases where your manager continues to ignore or disrespect your boundaries around sending and responding to messages outside of working hours, consider involving your workplace HR.

Inquire in the interview.

Though you may already be working with a certain employer, consider adding questions related to off-hours communication to a future interview. The expected typical response time to work-related messages, whether they are sent within or outside of standard business hours, will be specific to each workplace. Thus, it’s always worth asking direct questions about this during the interview process when considering a new position.

Besides identifying the desired outcome in your specific situation, ask yourself these other reflective prompts:

• In the absence of negative feedback from your manager, why do you fear being viewed as unresponsive by not responding to messages outside of business hours? Have you had negative workplace experiences prior that are continuing to impact you?

• Do you struggle to speak up for yourself or establish and protect your boundaries in other areas of your work life? Are there ways you could work on this, generally?

• How would giving in to the pattern of responding to work-related messages outside of working hours impact you in the long term?

• Are you willing to be in a role that requires you to be available outside of standard business hours?

  • What if you are compensated with additional time or money?

• If your manager does not take the feedback well or is not willing to respect boundaries, what would your next step be?

I had a boss who frequently utilized text messaging, company messaging platforms, and email to communicate during all hours of the day and night. I found myself replying to these messages at all hours of the night and day, including when I would wake up in the middle of the night. 

The first step I took was to ask him if it was required that I respond to these messages right away. His response was no. After that point, he continued to send them, but it made me feel uncomfortable that I was leaving them unread even though I saw the notifications. 

I realized that I had failed to set my own personal boundaries, which further exacerbated the issues.

The steps I took were:

• Confirming with him the best way to contact me if there was an emergency was to call.

• Silenced text notifications from colleagues and my boss after working hours.

• Removed work-related messaging apps and email from my phone.

After this point, I stopped constantly seeing the notifications, which made it easier for me to feel disconnected enough to recharge before work the next day. It also allowed my manager to get into a rhythm with me of when to expect me to respond and address all of the messages that had accumulated during off hours. A bonus is that it also allowed him to share initial ideas and gave me time to process them before responding immediately, which meant the quality of my responses and feedback was much higher.

• Article: new boss expects me to respond to work emails over the weekend (700 words)

• Article: How To Tell Your Boss 'Stop Texting Me On The Weekend (650 words)

• TikTok: The coworker who doesn’t understand boundaries (24 seconds)

• Book: Boundaries: Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries (144 pages)